sterkwater1&2

2025-sterkwater dutch for formaldehyde, used for conservation of once living bodies or parts.

chapter1 was a duo exhibition -part of peekaboo- during pride amsterdam with ron van der reijden in a basement in the middle of the red light district in amsterdam. in my part of this exhibition memories are conserved.

-second picture front right, ron van der reijden, the hanging photo with gold leaf, the image is a handmade doll, no ai. ig ronaldeduardart

chapter2, a solo with partly the same works. this site specific installation was built in front and on the altar of a former chapel in my hometown haarlem . the works were inspired by what i remember of the prayers for forgiving my sins and images of the church i used to go to as a child

two pictures with texts 1- on the history of the word uranian (after the planet uranus) the first term used for homosexuals after the christian use of sodomist. cut out in the satin cloth which hangs at the end of the basement

2-catholic prayers that i used to pray as a kid asking for forgiveness and reassuring my faith, being the good boy. these are embroidered in dutch and latin on two jackets and one cloth

welfing

2022-embroidered collage with added photos

this installation was made for the medieval and renaissance hall of the town hall in haarlem. in the renaissance modern science was born. new ideas spread. the body cut open, earth no longer the centre of the universe. old maps of the heavens inspired me as did predictions that the skies fall down on us in times of crisis. the idea is alive again these days. but halley won’t appear, so ..

welfing/vault

invitation welfing/vault

drawing board of my father and a smaller one with similar photos of sensing an outside world

drawing on photo (scratching)

comet halley as depicted in early seventeenth century.a comet predicts disasters..

numbers from astronomy

welfing/vault,a valley

de ruimte die ik inneem

2025-embroidered installation with photos in gallery van slagmaat, woerden.

the installation tells about growing up in fear, on being ‘other’ and not manly enough, not having words for it. coming at ease with it, both the fear and being gay

-text cut out on the large purple cloth at the wall: twijfel (doubt) by arnold spauwen. a poem about longing for a steady relation next time, please heavens send me very precise instructions. the poem is also used in performance and other installations

-the white in front of it contains a written part of his diary describing the fun he had with his friend

-texts embroidered on the blue jacket: a quote from horace: naturam expellas furca tamen usque recurret meaning one can destroy nature but she will always come back. which is so too for ones nature i guess

-on its back a catholic prayer to ask for forgiveness for the sins done that day

schuilwerken

2024-installation with cut out works in kunstcentrum haarlem (art gallery and lending)

a large piece of satin with a text on the history of homosexuality. see the last picture

behind it a collage of ‘grandma’s’ classic embroideries

the other works are made of clothing i had done. by cutting out the embroideries and seams they go into hiding (dutch: schuilen). one sees only fragments. but not only of the front, parts of the verkeerde kant are now also visible. verkeerde kant is a dutch slur for homosexuals and means being on or of the wrong side… not straight

performing

a poser, poseur, performing

life as theatre-opening the curtains, appearing on stage

in museum van de geest in ‘my chapel’ i performed inspired by bernini’s sculpture of teresa in ecstasy. a personal memory

i’ve been waiting too long (thanks marc deconinck)

night-fall/nacht-val.colorfield,hand stitched with uneven larger cross stitchings.i designed the colorfield as a floor skin,a soft sculpture,a skirt,a shelter

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clone

his fluids spilled, performance on l’origine du monde, a male obsession

jacket worn as skirt-on male vulnerability

hear

on love and longing-sixteen white shirts, male and female, lettered with the song of songs (hooglied), partly cut out to let the words reach the skin. no other text in the bible is so openly sensual, full of longing, physical longing too. unfortunately only female to male longing and vice versa. the performance speaks of disappointment and loneliness. words the woman speaks are on male shirts, the man’s words are on female shirts. hear my beloved, come to the park. handwork, done with pencil and scissors.this is on purpose to make it a fragile work mirroring love relations.wearing and thus cleaning the shirts will cause pencil lines to vanish and cut outs to wear out

twijfel, doubt, a poem by arnold spauwen on not being able to keep a steady relation, please heavens send me precise instructions

still-aloof: hairy legs https://vimeo.com/811058416

domweg on.gelukkig

2024-museum van de geest haarlem (geest=mind) a site specific installation. embroidery, cut out, photography

a small space meant to think about what one has seen in the rooms is turned into a chapel, a space to be quiet and opening up oneself to the saint of the chapel. on one side embroidered drawings on cloth and a straight jacket. the opposite side carries a photo of the cloth-in-progress in a pose as if rising to the heavens. next to this a soft sculpture of the underwear of my father , mother and me, a conception

inspiration came from the beautifully embroidered institution-coat in their collection. other sources were the times of disapproval i grew up in. up to my adulthood the handbook of psychiatry -dsm- described being gay as a mental disorder. in dutch law i was criminalized up to the age of adulthood. only then law was changed. not to talk about the church that still is negative or at the most ambivalent.

helpful to get my thoughts so to say straight was reading the dissertation of harry oosterhuis on changing attitudes of dutch catholic church in the twentieth century and some other texts on the history of church and sodomy

hemels

2022-an installation in a chapel that was not really used as such anymore. part of a group show, ‘geestgrond’ organized by julia henneman

memories of going to church, being naked in front of gods eyes, he sees all. the portraits used in the installation were shot in this chapel. it is me, dressed only in pearls.

i was happy to get to use the balcony, a more secluded space than the chapel itself. i used the materials i found on the balcony. it felt like being up in heaven. one day the sun was shining, a gift. the stained glass windows which were on the portraits then spread their colors over my installation

poseur

posing, poser, poseur

more posing in secrecies behind a wall, the nsfw ones

blue boy series, i was told blue boys was used for gay guys though not in my country. the photos were shot while lying on a floor. the original series is printed in black and white on dutch landscapes from a iconic series of book on the netherlands published in the fifties (when i was born). it is my first work on coming out

attempted censorship

reproducing twink,three photos with pubic hair

male jewelry, pins

blue boy

cursed

pistoletti on my mind

sonnet for tomasso (michelangelo)

icarus

tribute to gert hekma

gert hekma was teacher (and founder) of homo studies at the university of amsterdam.in this portrait made after his passing away i wear some of his collection of shiny sports shorts.he was a satinist he said.thanking mattias duyves his partner for the use of the shorts

for him-embroidered drawing

atlas

dress for succes,the male uniform

in the beginning was the word,cut out

verwoordt1&2

2023/2024-text works

a book was published to the memory of arnold spauwen. homosexuality is very obvious in his poetry. for the presentation i made several embroidered cloths. 2024 hundred years after his violent death jacob israel de haan was honored as a gay activist, poet and jewish anti zionist. i made several embroidered and cut out cloths that were shown. a shroud was used in a play by schout van nacht (dio van velden)

embroidered and cutout poetry-arnold spauwen

cutout poetry-jacob israel de haan

installerend-nog wat meer

a series of other installations

pas des deux

installation in a side room of a grand mansion.two male youngsters reaching for each other,arms in a bondage.they balance a female figure who swings between them.all clothes are specifically embroidered,by hand,for this installation with drawings on the fe/male.the woman wears a reworked man’s jacket with an added natural scene of a bought embroidery combined with hand embroideries.the men wear skirts,not to give them garments of the other but as a natural thing

part of 'anamorfose' a group shown in beeckestijn,velzen zuid,curated by bianca vooges

i see nothing/video nihillum-embroidery and stamped text on longing

cutout in sixteen male and female shirts-hooglied (song of solomon)

kunstkapel amsterdam. (art chapel)

a coat for poetry made from several coats the mother of the poet george moormann had made. non of the coats were cut except the one that make the big grey pockets in front. buttons of her other clothes and watches were used to decorate (and not spill any material)

a train of clothes as part of a project for george moormann (poet). his mother made all these clothes.

all shirts and skirts are hand stitched together in squares with cross stitches. every single piece can still be worn dragging behind you the rest

imperfect/onvoltooid verleden tijd

limbo/voorgeborchte. installation in museum zandvoort. two guys, dressed in embroidered jeans, in front of three photos in which another guy wears similar jeans while he dances (?) on a scaffolding. under the dancer portraits with a historical feel. as they say: we were always here and will always be here. three more jeans in a show case. one sees the backside (wrong side) of the embroidered colorfields which are inspired by the hanky code the title suggests queers are predestined to be in (the) limbo forever. if lucky…

psssst (once I was in the lead of a charity thrift shop)

respirare(breathing)lotus meditation posture:counting the breaths for a fixed time.stitches around the feet resemble the number of breaths

alone

a soft sculpture,inspired by a poem in pomes penyeach of james joyce as part of a project after an idea of julia barnes.she composed music for all poems.words were translated in dutch by bindervoet and henkes.inge weeda engraved the poems on perspex.we combined her work on the floor with mine floating above.other art was presented in a more usual way on walls in the oosterkerk amsterdam.julia barnes/facetten van de kunst

dressoir

a portrait as in pictures on a dresser at my grandma’s

drawing and photo,part of dressoir next to three works by marc deconinck

map coordinates of this cruising spot

tonnis,almost ninety,posing

installation of two photos,hidings

mold.drawing on carpet,cut out

werken-een lijst

scroll and see individual works

embroideries, drawings, paintings made into jackets, cut outs, a single rope work, knitting, stamps, collage, ..

for him

mania

embroidered drawing for bittersweet manic nature (a project to create openness around bipolair disorder) by michael van der meide, fashion designer. the drawing expresses mania

inside out

verkeerde kant/wrong side. when one wears the jeans onlookers see the backside of the embroidery, in dutch de verkeerde kant (the wrong side) being of the wrong side is used to degrade queers. the fantasy male dominance cherishes

embroidered drawing green squares on grey

on nietzsche, also sprach zarathustra. alle lust will ewigkeit, will tiefe tiefe ewigkeit

this boy was in the corridor,on the wall of my primary school

inside of reworked shirt

outside of reworked shirt

parallel

a coat in front embroidered with dick picks that were send unasked in social media.innocent ken keeping up the cloth on which an extensive embroidered drawing of guys mixing with each other.parallel worlds. after the installation was presented twice in an exhibition i decided to cut out this drawing and use it as an independent work

michelangelo to tomassio.jacket remade inside out

diaries-torn pages:from john's gospel,in the beginning was the word etc.

translated from dutch,let him kiss me with the kisses of his lips

male suit

noli me tangere

embroidered drawing on jacket,composed of three jackets.background,drawing by hans bossmann

vest and pants as collar or queue de paris

cutout of a quote-david wojnarowicz and personal data

cutout of a quote-walt whitman

cutout quote-michelangelo

homo sapiens sapiens homo

cutout in den beginne was het woord-johannes evangelie.start of johns gospel

a glimpse

a glimpse,poem by walt whitman.

shakespeare sonnet on loving him.one of three sweaters

torn pages

shakespeare,part of a sonnet of loving him

measure

embroidery and text for a book with drawings by chiel braat on the main shopping street of my home town.embroidery:as in many towns shopping street facades are boring.look up,as the upper parts are mostly original.textc;ounting the length of the tree with footsteps.also i counted the use of spaces and number of (few) trees.